hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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