Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
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It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
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dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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