i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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