He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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