So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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