I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
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