They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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