I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize