I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize