Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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