I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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