I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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