I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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