u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize