i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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