Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize