Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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