If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize