I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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