I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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