gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just found a bag of teeth...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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