I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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