At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize