Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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