i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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