I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize