I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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