There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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