Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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