Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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