Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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