It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
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Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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