I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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