ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
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you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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