I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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