This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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