She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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