He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize