Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
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In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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