Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.

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  (323): that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill. http://tfl.nu/xwdt
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  and it's going to stay that way

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  (203): I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other (413): and it's going to stay that way http://tfl.nu/bh5o
  Replies (11) Good night (671) Bad night (2795)
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  (+33): View more from France

  I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

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  (+33): I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing. http://tfl.nu/69za
  Replies (13) Good night (686) Bad night (1959) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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  (416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf
  Replies (20) Good night (1230) Bad night (4344) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

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  (218): Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it. http://tfl.nu/dm7u
  Replies (43) Good night (7911) Bad night (2376) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.

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  (512): I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw. (1-512): Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid. http://tfl.nu/p25a
  Replies (16) Good night (4067) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.

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  (315): you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast. http://tfl.nu/j66a
  Replies (8) Good night (2987) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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  (518): All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up http://tfl.nu/3pu3
  Replies (16) Good night (688) Bad night (4885) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.

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  (817): Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24. http://tfl.nu/4goe
  Replies (5) Good night (1355) Bad night (660)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

  (407): View more from Florida

  Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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  (407): Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon (407): Covered in confetti and bad decisions http://tfl.nu/kydc
  Replies (9) Good night (1681) Bad night (513)
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  (661): View more from California

  And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"

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  (661): And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first" http://tfl.nu/snox
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

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  (503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu
  Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

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  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
  Replies (8) Good night (987) Bad night (611)
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  (310): View more from California

  Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today

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  (310): Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today http://tfl.nu/yb5r
  Replies (5) Good night (862) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.

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  (512): Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail. http://tfl.nu/3erx
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (209)

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