My underwear smells like fireworks.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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