Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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