i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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