we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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