Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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