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There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
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