I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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