im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
pray to the hookup gods
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize