who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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