Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i now understand why vodka
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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